Sample Sale Inferno

Home. Completely exhausted (physically, emotionally and financially) from the slew of sample sales! Being 'in the business', I am hooked up with the 411 re these events, and proud to say, a pro. Sneak out of work at 9:55 sharp to get in early to the Borghese sale. In the holiday spirit, I share the info with D2, who doesn't believe me it's cash only. When we get there, there is already a line to get in, and after confirming the cash only policy, D2 acts surprised that there is no ATM on premises...considering that the event is at the company's offices, this is bizarre. I shake my head and go in, while D2 needs to go out for cash. Myself, I am ready for battle with cash and shopping bags. The place is a mayhem of fabulous cosmetic gift sets and goodies, the size of a kitchen of an average American home, with crap piled to the ceiling and 40 women at a time, all sweating in winter clothes, all with the same crazed look of the hunt! We are getting our shit and no one is stopping us!!! I push and elbow my way around and at some point look up, hat askew, to see D2 back with cash now stuck on the huge line outside...tsk, tsk. That's an amateur for you! Well, girlfriend will live and learn. I grab a shit load of stuff, trying to mentally allocate what's gifts and what's for ME!
I see many broads I know, and we all know this is no time for small talk, so we smile and keep on! Very female bonding, in a way.
As I'm already paying, D2 finally is admitted inside and I again am generous and give her one of my container store bags, although running a risk of my own stuff ripping from my now no longer double bag! Very unlike me, must be the hunger...anyway, I rush back to the office, where more company time is wasted showing my loot to the chickens, and D4 and S2 run out in a frenzy to get own stuff! Sample sale, sample sale, aaaaaahhhh! Later in the day, one of the chickens gets a cashmere scarf hook up from a friend and I get one and tell her to get more...MORE! I know of the Nautica sample sale but decide it's no place for bombshells and exercise extreme restraint by not attending, reminding myself that need funds to ESCAPE NEW JERSEY. As it is, my bank account balance is curled up in fetal position sobbing in the shower...oh well. I make a solemn promise to self, that after NYE, I will spend a long, Spartan winter holed up in apartment not spending any money, certainly not on food...
Good nite darlings...honey bee is going to go through the loot now.


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Starvation Mode-Shmode!

Today was a great day: felt huge love for Job, doing beautiful art in Photoshop all day, just feeling very grateful. Also ate just 1 grapefruit all day. Excellent! A bit worried about no one from company K calling (yet), but not in panic mode.

Midday, S2 stops by my desk to chat. S2 always makes my shallow heart smile, bc she is the kind of sexy bitch I can roll with and smart, too (always agrees with me).
A thought-provoking deep conversation occurred between me and S2:
We get on the topic of the Only Diet that Works for Us (not eating.period). We bond about what bullshit exercise is, causing uncontrollable hunger and huge legs. Though, ok, probably good for heart. Then, she brings up that dubious concept of 'body going into starvation mode and actually getting fatter'. I give her a side eye and share one of my thoughts from the Dark Side.
"S2," I say in a teacherly manner. "there is no such thing. It's a lie that fat people made up to make everyone else get fat." I let that unorthodox bomb sink in and wait for reaction. She narrows pretty eyes and shakes the red mane...yes.
"think about it!" I carry on with excitement. "Have you ever seen coverage of famine on tv, and the reporter will show a bunch of fatties and say, ...and as you can see these poor people
here went into the STARVATION MODE and now are unable to lose any weight! This is a horrible famine."
"OMG" S2 says. "Ive thought that in the past". Like I sed, girlfriend is v.smart.
I think about all similar situations: like why did they drill a tiny tunnel to send the Chilean miners food in tiny tubes??? Why not just tell them, hey dudes, don't worry. You will go into starvation mode any day, so just chill. You see? Starvation mode-shmode!
Feel super motivated!
After work I go to the sauna and and have myself a good shvitz for an hour. Life is pretty good: single, loving job, almost thin with all the time in the world for doing exactly what I feel like.
If it was taking place in NYC it would be perfect...