Garden State

We start today with an uplifting photo (see below). This was the view from the window on train into the city this morning and this is the kind of image of New Jersey that makes one slap oneself and say 'of course! this is why they call this place the Garden State'. A manifesto of lush, rambling nature, virgin soil, sweet scent and frolicking bunnies!

Weekend update:

Friday: Hungover and over it after Thursday nite dinner with D2 and J and interview with Company K, I decide to take a fake sick day and get started on Xmas shopping. I sleep late, take a bubble bath, get all dolled up and finally ready to leave by noon, i run around the apartment collecting wallet, sunglasses, house keys, car keys...car keys. I stare blankly at the little hook in the hallway that is WITHOUT car keys. Run to the kitchen to check the table...check every purse and coat. No keys. One of the most wonderful things about being single and childfree is that one has an orderly apartment with things that are usually found where one left them. I fling off the coat because by now I am pouring sweat and sit quietly sucking on a cigarette trying to retrace steps. That's when i recall that the last time I drove the car was during the Trunk of Crime ride home. I recall with a sinking heart the mad dash home clutching the bottle and 80 other things, having to pee etc. Come to the sinking conclusion that keys are either a)locked in the trunk or b)fell to the ground.

I put the coat back on & go searching, looking like a mental patient on all fours in the parking lot. No keys. Spend the next 2 hours searching odd places all over the house. Dread telling the Rents about lost keys; I can almost see the giant cartoony I TOLD YOU SO's around their heads, b/c i never made key copy as advised. Eventually give up. As far as i am concerned this is another FAIL as far as my mad suburban living skillz go. File this together with draining car battery twice by leaving blinkers on and entering the grocery store parking lots where it says EXIT. I call the locksmith and calmly make an appointment for next day, noting that the amount is the ENTIRE CHRISTMAS BUDGET!!! Calm calm...

I go to my Bed, climb in, make a nest of pillows, cats and fake fur blankets and decide to stay there for the rest of the day and night. V calls after 5 and inquires about my health. I fess up to fake illness and tell the car key story and she laughs. But the reason for her call is...Company K owner and #2 want to interview me early next week. Am to keep mum. Mood lifts considerably, as I hang up smugly. There might be means, after all, to escape New Jersey. Woooo-Hooooo!

Saturday: Wake up physically ridiculously rested, having gone to bed around 8 the night before and waking up around 10. Somewhat mentally exhausted from dreams about the keys. Note a pathetic text from fbP: 'did you forget about me?' HA! I see you didn't forget about me. Very good. I don't reply. I realize that I have nothing to do until the locksmith gets me into the ladybug. I make delicious tea and go back to bed and watch movies. I do not give in to the temptation to eat. Around 1PM, I stroll to the kitchen for a grapefruit, when notice a stranger puttering around on my balcony. I open the kitchen doo to bark and unfriendly 'can I help you?' and GUESS WHAT??? it's neighborJ holding my keys! Found on the lawn! Yes! Yes! I race to the mall, where I wait 45 minutes to park, get in a fight over a parking space and go on a Christmas shopping spree. I end up with 1 gift and tons of stuff for ME! (as usual) A diet slip occurred in the food court, I'm sad to say. Drive home in a delicious mood regardless, and spend a fun evening trying on and putting away new clothes and jewelry, smoking and trashing everyone on the phone with B. Then the Rents come and drop off the dogs to spend an active Sunday with me.

Sunday: Wake up to a sad rainy day. Take the whining dogs out anyway to PROVE to them it's raining out. They didn't believe me when I said it again and again. Decide to drive them back to the Rents house early, so I could get back early and take an online class and go see the Black Swan. Route 80 like driving through the Ballagio fountains in Vegas. Thrilling danger! I even turned down Ice Cube at one point in order to FOCUS! At one point, I was even doing my mom's Drowning the Baby driving style, which is when you line up your chin with the wheel, which you clutch fiercely while pushing down and and staring into space ahead. At the Rents house, I get my next chapter in the Remodeling the Upstairs Bathroom Saga (this time there were visual aids, in the form of tile samples). Then, even more fun: I get to learn how to fillet and pare down Christmas herring. I do love slicing guts and anything really gross, so I didn't really mind, other than my hands smelling like rank pootang for the rest of the day. Finally, i split, this time remembering to take the jewelry chest. Black Swan was sublime and fabulous, just the kind of dark psycho shit I love. Sweet.

Monday: So here we are. Thrilled to see my friend M3 on the train this morning. We catch up and I tell him about my struggle to fit into the Versace dress and my annoying date with Dr. FeelNotGood

He basically agrees that the dr. is one big douche. He expresses his concern about me not meeting my nutritional requirements (sweet boy) and i tell him that the only thing i need to meet in the next few weeks is my image in the mirror with that fucking dress DRAPING OF ME rather than encasing me like a bratwurst sausage! it was M3 who pointed out the pretty landscape we were passing and we had a laugh about how any minute we would see the mutants coming out of the swamp, or the makeshift cars from Mad Max attacking the train. Mullets everywhere! you had to be there. But since you were not, I leave you with the pretty picture.